wors that you'll never hear
by WALIXELA
Summary: Zane says " i love you" to Rikki but her reaction is not really good to it something she will regret later  songfic


**hi well this is a new one-shot well i wrote it a few minutes ago so... it's a kind of singfic the song is originally in spanish **

**sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes but i didn't ask for beta because as i said before i just wrote a few minutes ago so i hope you like it **

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I love you Rikki Chadwick!

Those words crashed exactly in my heart and made it stop beating. How can three words have such an important meaning to people? How three simple words can be so powerful? But why couldn't I just say them, why is hard for me to express what I feel. I know I should have said how I felt about him but I just couldn't. I knew it was the right moment to say it but I don't know why I couldn't articulate those words.

I guess it isn't simple, is not just think of them and the just let them come out of your mouth, to say those words you have to feel them in your heart. They have to come out from the bottom of your heart. And believe me I felt the same for him but my stupid pride didn't let me, I thought that if I say them I could look weak, or sound weak, I didn't know I was going to regret not saying them when I had the chance.

**Perhaps it was enough breath, just breath very slowly  
Regain every beat in me,  
and nothing makes sense now that you are gone  
where are you now? Because I can't accustom myself yet  
December has already come. You are not here, I will wait for you until the end**

That was the last time I saw him, he didn't say anything when I didn't reply with the same words, he just smiled at me like he knew what I was thinking, we spend the afternoon together he wearing a big smile and I wearing a frown on my face, why couldn't I tell him "I love you" back. Maybe I just needed to calm myself down, maybe I needed a bit of courage.

I miss him… I miss him more than anything else in the world, I feel empty without him, I never thought I could say this but I need him here beside me, I need someone to hold my hand, I need someone to distract me off my problems, I need my boyfriend I miss my other half I miss the person that showed me that love really existed, he showed me that the myth of the butterflies in the stomach was truth, we showed me that your eyes shine when you are in love, he showed me how to live life and I don't know how to do it without him.

**But instead no. Today no, there's no time for me to explain  
And wonder, if I loved you enough  
I am right here, and I want to talk to you now, now…**

But now the only thing I can do is look at his grave and think if I really made his life worth as he did with mine, I never told him how much I loved him, I never told him just how I felt about him I let him go, even though his smile that day told me he knew I love him I can't be in peace, even if he knew we all need lovely words just to make sure because we can't live a life guessing and not being sure of how the people that surrounds feels about us. I learned that in a wrong way a hard one. I don't remember my mom telling me she loved me until the day she left and she only managed to say it just when she was leaving I didn't even had time to tell her I love you back. My dad had always say that but I just could reply with a "me too". Though this isn't a good excuse but look what just happened the day he say I love you he died I think I have been cursed all the people that has say those words to me disappear from my life.

**Because they break upon my teeth,  
The important things,  
Those words that you will never hear.  
And I submerge them in a wail, causing them to escape  
They are all for you, one by one, here  
Do you feel them now? They're heavy and they settle between you and me  
If I don't have you, I can't repeat them, I can't pronounce them**

I love you Zane Benett and I don't think I will ever love somebody else as I loved you. You made my life worth, you made me laugh every time I was down, you kept the biggest secret of my life, you were with me in the important and simple events of my life you showed me that love can change people, you weren't afraid of letting me know your feelings as I was.

I just wish I was able to say this when you were still alive I can say they now only to you but the saddest thing is that I can see your face now that I'm telling you this I can't see your face, I can't see you smiling at me I can't hear your voice I can't feel your arms wrapped around me giving me one of those lovely hugs you used to give me.

**But instead, no. The memories rain down on me,  
of those days where we ran against the wind,  
I want to dream that I can talk to you now, now**

Please forgive me, forgive for being stupid and stubborn, forgive me for not giving you the chance to make sure I loved you I know is late, but I'm sure you are hearing me and I want to know that you forgive me, because my life has been miserable since you died, since you left me alone.

A small tear rolled down my face as I laid a white rose on his grave as a symbol of the pureness of our love as a reminder of how much I you.

**Perhaps it was enough breath,  
Just breath very slowly.  
Today is too lat, Instead, today, no.**

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